MOAN-a...MoAH-na...moan-awww!

Well, I guess we have found our Queen B!tch for this edition. Poor baby...she is SO sensitive. I hurt for her...really I do. Excuse me...did she just set a new record for crying on this episode. When the two returning women, Shiloh and Jennifer, think she's got a problem...then...she's got a problem! I don't care if she wears her "wife-beater" t-shirt and shows me her nipples (actually...I do), she is still a...problematic person. And those square glasses, come on! How soon will their "fifteen minutes" be up? This next episode promises a bit of drama. I am not sure what to think, but I believe we will see some melodrama develop. I am a bit ticked that they have seemingly left out the "fun factor" and abbreviated the series. Maybe I missed something, but the fun is gone. Dammit...I really wanted this series to keep on "keepin' on." No dice. This is it Bachelor fans...enjoy it while it lasts!

Episode Three: Bones?!? This is too suggestive for me.

Way to go Travis' friends! The skeleton is a nice touch. Ok...Sarah from Canada...she is nuts. And what an ego..."Travis is saving the first kiss for me." Get over yourself. chicky poo. OK...Travis doesn't know directions...boohoo. Travis, all you need to know is where the sun is. When you get to Paris, you need to know that it is divided up into "arrondisements" which are basically increasingly big concentric ovals. Gotta love the SmartCar. Funny-looking but very good on fuel...something like 100 kilometers to the liter.

By the way, Travis' jaw is so square it's almost triangular. Now, we have the ultimate question...why is he still single. Ladies...no matter he says...read that as COMMITMENT issues. We guys are afraid that the next BBD (bigger, better deal) is just around the corner. Eventually, we get over that and find love when it finds us. Why, by the way, do all the women question whether or not each of them has the "right motivation" for being there. Come on, for pit's sake, it's TELEVISION! You have a camera staring you in the face (or the lips or the breasts) the enitre time!

I promise to quit crabbing now. On a positive note, I think Susan is looking more like the hands-on (no pun intended) favorite. Tara is also quite cute with her red hair. I am still waiting to see what her personality is like. Other than that, the only other "top three" person I see is Jehan...maybe.

The teacher, Sarah from Tennessee, is really getting desperate. She seems to be complaining a lot. I think she may be talking herself out of staying. Unfortunately, the editing of the show keeps us from forming independent opinions. I think I would be in favor of ABC making scenes that were not broadcast available on the internet. Sarah is acting like this is a debate contest. She needs to bring the sex appeal and that is something she doesn't seem to be doing. I think Travis should have simply said that he didn't want to give out the rose. But that would be too easy.

The game continues. I have to agree with the "cat club" that Moana is there to play the game, not get Travis. As for the camping trip twins, I think they should have done something like this two or three Bachelors ago. It is tense, but it is more "real" than the five person group dates where so many people are scrambling for one-on-one time that no one gets to really have a conversation with him. I don't think I will report on the final roses tonight. Nothing has really inspired me tonight. Stay tuned for another blog next week. In the meantime, blog back at me when you can! ;-)

E

Jock itch explained...post mortem

Well, thank God for small miracles. I was sweating it out that Susan would not go through to the next round. Frankly, I think that dimwit from Canada (why can't I remember her name?) is a top five pick...yikes! I guess brains count for less than I thought. Still, maybe I should blame the producers...they are, after all, the ones who piece this together. As for the jok itch reference, I have to explain that this is a joke between my wife and me. During the first season of the Bach, I commented that Chris had little to do but "stand there and scratch his balls," at least during the Rose Ceremony. I speculated that it was that Chris simply had a bad case of jock itch and preferred to stand by scratching his b*lls rather than host that segment of the show. It also came about because I found it both redundant and stupid to announce that there was one rose left. Thanks Master of the Obvious! All for now. Greetings to the Blogosphere and send me your rejoinders.

E

Women!?!...uh...can we talk?

I have a confession to make...I hate reality shows. Always have, always will. However, I am a fan of The Bachelor. I am also sure that this season like the previous two or three will be, at best, diluted by the producers attempts to "reinvigorate" the formula. Don't be mistaken, I like the formula, but it certainly does no good to advance the cause of women. (By the way, the worst kind of dreck of all was the Bachelorette versions...where the men sunk to new lows, e.g. a drunk peeing on a bed.) I am not convinced, though, that this kind of show has lost its caché.

Let's start with the Bachelor himself. He is a typical "dude." Now, we dudes have to stick together, but could he at least provide us with some insight into something other than thoughts such as, " I highly recommend to you bachelors out there to try this experience," and " I consider myself to be damn lucky to be the Bachelor?" Thanks...genius. I don't hold anything against him, other than that he is willing to act out his dates on TV in front of millions of people. I think people like that usually don't realize what they are getting themselves into. Having said that, I think that it is possible to maintain your dignity in a situation like that. Maybe the last person to keep his dignity was the original bachelor, Alex. His only mistake was to dump his bachelorette. Back to Travis, though. He seems to be a bit humorless...just first impressions...that's all.

Bummer about Kristen...she had such great...attributes. The episode is about halfway over...not sure where things are going, but I will end with this. I am rooting for Susan, and not just because that is my wife's name. She is a top 3 pick, and you heard it here first. More top picks later.

Erik

What does jock itch have to do with "The Bachelor"?

GP-Blog 01 (From the desk of the poobah himself.)

Well, now that all you ladies have had a chance to "get catty" about last night's goings-on, I will add my observations to the mix. Let's start with the Bach himself. I am getting a sense that the fact that he is 33 and not married or hooked up may be on partly due to his job. I get the sense that our man has been or continues to be a "playa." He was definitely outfitted by the producers for last night's episode. I don't see him as the "suit and tie" man. Also, the hair cut and some of the comments indicate some lingering immaturity, probably left over from his 20s. His keeper comment from last night was "I am damn lucky to be the Bachelor." His throwaway comment was "To all you bachelors out there, I highly recommend you try this experience," like that will ever happen.

As for the women, his first choice the Canadian "yee-ah girl" I definitely questioned his judgement there. I would have given my first one to Susan (although I may be biased toward that name because of my beautiful wife). I picked 7 of the 12 including the Canadian, which puts me a little off my average. The one-hour format was so short that I did not put together my top five picks yet. More on that later. Yvonne was probably the worst of the bunch, really insincere corporate type...yuck. And my b**balicious choice is definitely Kristen. Gosh, I wonder how tall she is. Can you say "Amazon?" She was the only 5 on my "chest scale."

I thought that Moana was very nice...weird name, but nice. She had a rather sentimental or even somewhat melancholy moment when she said that she thought he had really listened to her answer..." a first for her." hmm

Kindergarten teacher seems to try to hard. Hope she eases up. That is all from here.

EB (the GP of EB)